So a few weeks ago my wonderful friend Mind Body Menopause hosted a Menopause Coffee Morning at Fizz & Fromage in Wroxham. There were over 20 ladies there, all looking a little nervous/anxious to begin with. There was me with my big gob asking people if they were here for the Menopause Cafe, then thinking sh!t I can’t say that, people will be offended. Let’s exam that a bit further…..
Offended why? Because they will be thinking I think they are old. Because somehow the menopausal woman label is one that none of us want or are ashamed to have. But why? So many ladies I know are in peri-menopause and are in their late 30s/early 40s. Now I am 43, and that is not old. Did I think in my 30s I would be a menopausal lady in my 40s, not I did not. I thought that was something that happened to women in their 50s/60s. Most people want to look younger, so why would they want a label that is perceived to be for older women?
Now before I came out (ha ha) as a Peri-Menopausal lady, I was so worried about if I did what would people think of me. Would I somehow be less attractive, as a women and as a PT? As I sat in the cafe this week, I wanted to take some pictures, but I assumed that most of the ladies wouldn’t want to be in the photograph, as we still do not want to be publicly identified as menopausal. Now this is a something that is having such a detrimental affect on so many women. We need to share and talk about it more. The injustice of it all. The fact that we are not getting what we need, and have to often pay privately (if we are lucky enough to be able to afford that) for specialist support and prescriptions that we need to enable us to function without uncontrollable rage and emotions, symptom lists that are so long and strange, we don’t even consider that they are related to menopause (itchy eyes, that is my bizarre one). Why should we have to endure symptoms that make us so miserable and feel so invisible. When women are feeling like this, we should support them, not make them fight for care and medication that they deserve and have every right to have. How many times have women heard we are too young, depressed or just a bit of a hypochondriac?
I think all Menopausal women should have a Menopause Buddy, who has been through it, who was either strong enough to know and get what they needed or lucky enough to have an amazing GP or medical professional who listened to them, and considered all the options. That is why sharing our experience is so important. No one should feel isolated. It is so common, all it takes is one person to be open about how they are feeling, and this opens conversation and provides identification for women who definitely need it. The Ripple Effect.
So next time you stop yourself for talking openly about menopause for fear of all the things I feared, think about the ripple effect. I have seen it in action and its so amazing. Ladies supporting ladies. There will always be someone who has felt or feels like you do, you are not mental and we can come out the other side with the right help and support.